Car guy disease

Today, I have a very important message.  You may be afflicted with car guy disease (or car girl disease, the politically correct car person disease just sounds odd).  It may also be known as gear head disease, motor head disease (not to be confused with Motörhead disease, since as far as I know, they haven’t recorded any car songs) or if you are a Top Gear fan, petrol head disease.

Notice I said afflicted with, not suffering from.  I have this disease, but I don’t suffer from it.  In fact, everyone I know who has it, doesn’t suffer from it.  But what is it?  It is an extreme (some may say irrational) love of cars.  And it often branches out to motorcycles, snowmobiles, four wheelers or anything else that has an engine and can go fast.

But how do you know if you have it?  The first common symptom are getting excited seeing one of your favorite cars drive by.  Bonus points if you stop what you are doing and stare at it as it goes by.  We won’t even comment on the fact that you may try to get a picture and or video of it with your cell phone.

Another would be that you seek out other people with this affliction.  These are often called car shows, but swap meets could be included as well.  One must remember though, that these are not support groups, at least not in the traditional sense.  The only 12 step program you may find there is 12 steps to get your car to run 12’s.  Actually, that sounds like a good one to me, maybe I have it too?

Do you roll down the window when a car you like pulls up next to you at a stop light so you can listen to the exhaust?  Do you take a picture of a car you like that you see in a parking lot?  Do you plan improvements to a car you don’t even have, but want?  All signs.

There is no know cure, but it can be managed.  The best way (for your wallet anyway) would be to just buy boring econobox cars and deal with it, but where is the fun in that?

The trick is moderation and budget.  The bigger trick is someone else to manage your moderation and budget, so you don’t have to and can keep drooling over the catalogs and car magazines sitting on your desk.

Then you get a car, and the uninformed may think that would help curb the problem, since you can drive it and enjoy it.  But, there is always something else for the car, an upgrade here, an improvement there, this needs to be fixed, that needs to be tweaked.

Before you know it, you know your UPS delivery driver by name, and wait impatiently at the door if he is late with your latest delivery.  Be sure to tip him to help cover the cost of his hernia operation.

If this is you, raise your right hand (or mash down your right foot) and repeat after me:

I have car guy (or girl) disease.

Then enjoy it, get the kids and your significant other involved.  It can be great family time, grease and dirt wash off and car shows are family friendly.

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